Da Warren callers! A desperate time is upon us! Out stuffy enemies have struck
a deadly blow to our movement by using stuffy words for our units of
measyurement!  Look at ome of the words we use every day - meter, picosecond,
fortnight -- pah! We need silly words! Thus, the Da Warren Amalgamated Callers
Opposed To Tyrannical Units of Measurement In The Sciences And Elsewhere
(DWACOTTOMITSAE) has proposed that our units of measurement be renamed.  Here
are some examples:

mole -> llama, as in, "6 llamas of sodium metal"
light-year -> Consumers Digest Best Buy, as in, "The nearest star is 4.3
              Consumers Digest Best Buys away from our sun."
torr -> do not change
pica -> bastard, as in "The headline should be 15 bastards wide."
hertz -> Hercs, as in "KRAP radio broadcasts at 93.1 megaHercs."
byte -> 9-pin to 24-pin converter on the floor, as in, "So far, my newest
        program compiles out to about 70 kilo9-pin to 24-pin converters
        on the floor."

 Do your duty! Make up bizarre names for units of measurement and post them in
Conference 2! Or in a few tubs of mashed potatoes you'll wake up and find a
horse's head next to you in your Bj”rk-sized bed!