           [Butchering the Human Carcass for Human Consumption]
 
                              by kimball ford
 
          The human being (also referred to throughout culinary
          history as "long pig" and "hairless goat" in the case of
          younger specimens) is not generally thought of as a staple
          food source. Observing the anatomy and skeleton, one can see
          that the animal is neither built nor bred for its meat, and
          as such will not provide nearly as much flesh as a pig or
          cow (for example, an average 1000 pound steer breaks down to
          pro vide 432 pounds of saleable beef). The large central
          pelvis and broad shoulder blades also interfere with
          achieving perfect cuts. There are advantages to this
          however, especially due to the fact that the typical
          specimen will weigh between 100-200 pounds, easily
          manipulated by one person with sufficient leverage.
 
          captivity is optimal, but not always available. When
          possible make sure the animal has no food for 48 hours, but
          plenty of water. This fasting helps flush the system,
          purging stored toxins and bodily wastes, as well as making
          bleeding and cleaning easier. Here the caution in choosing
          your meal must be mentioned. It is VERY IMPORTANT to
          remember that animals raised for slaughter are kept in
          tightly controlled environments with their health and diet
          carefully maintained. Humans are not. Thus not only is the
          meat of each person of varying quality, but people are also
          subject to an enormous range of diseases, infections,
          chemical imbalances, and poisonous bad habits, all typically
          increasing with age. Also as an animal ages, the meat loses
          its tenderness, becoming tough and stringy. No farm animal
          is ever allowed to age for thirty years. Six to thirteen
          months old is a more common slaughtering point. You will
          obviously want a youthful but mature p hysically fit human
          in apparently good health. A certain amount of fat is
          desirable as "marbling" to add a juicy, flavorful quality to
          the meat.
 
          The butcher will need a fairly roomy space in which to work
          (an interior location is suggested), and a lar ge table for
          a butcher's block. A central overhead support will need to
          be chosen or installed ahead of time to hang the carcass
          from. Large tubs or barrels for blood and waste trimmi
ngs
          should be convenient, and a water source close by. Most of
          the work can be done with a few simple tools: sharp, clean
          short and long bladed knives, a cleaver or hatchet, and a
          hacksaw.
 
          Body Preparation: Acquiring your subject is up to you. For
          best results and health, freshness is imperative. A living
          human in captivity is optimal, but not always available.
          When possible make sure the animal has no food for 48 hours,
          but plenty of water. This fasting helps flush the system,
          purging stored toxins and bodily wastes, as well as making
          bleeding and cleaning easier.
 
          Hanging: Once the animal is unconscious or dead, it is ready
          to be hoisted. Get the feet up first, then the hands; let
          the head hang down. This is called the "Gein configuration".
          Simple loops of rope may be tied around the hands and feet
          and then attached to a crossbar or overhead beam. Or, by
          making a cut behind the Achilles tendon, a meathook may be
          inserted into each ankle for hanging support. The legs
          should be spread so that the feet are outside the shoulders,
          with the arms roughly paral lel to the legs. This provides
          access to the pelvis, and keeps the arms out of the way in a
          ready position for removal. It's easiest to work if the feet
          are slightly above the level of the butcher's head.
 
          Bleeding: Place a large open vessel ben eath the animal's
          head. With a long-bladed knife, start at one corner of the
          jaw and make a deep "ear-to-ear" cut through the neck and
          larynx to the opposite side. This will sever the internal
          and external carotid arteries, the major blood vessels
          carryin g blood from the heart to the head, face, and brain.
          If the animal is not yet dead, this will kill it quickly,
          and allow for the blood to drain in any case. After the
          initial rush of blood, the stream should be controllable and
          can be directed into a rece ptacle. Drainage can be assisted
          by massaging the extremities down in the direction of the
          trunk, and by compressing and releasing, "pumping", the
          stomach. A mature specimen will contain almost six liters of
          blood. There is no use for this fluid, unless s ome source
          is waiting to use it immediately for ritual purposes.
 
          Beheading: When the bleeding slows, preparation for
          decapitation can be started. Continue the cut to the throat
          around the entire neck, from the jawline to the back of the
          skull. Once muscle and ligament have been sliced away, the
          head can be cleanly removed by gripping it on either side
          and twisting it off, separation occurring where the spinal
          cord meets the skull. This is indicative of the method
 to be
          used for dividing other b ones or joints, in that the meat
          should generally be cut through first with a knife, and the
          exposed bone then separated with a saw or cleaver. The
          merits of keeping the skull as a trophy are debatable for
          two principal reasons. First, a human skull may c all
          suspicious attention to the new owner. Secondly, thorough
          cleaning is difficult due to the large brain mass, which is
          hard to remove without opening the skull. The brain is not
          good to eat. Removing the tongue and eyes, skinning the
          head, and placing it outside in a wire cage may be
          effective. The cage allows small scavengers such as ants and
          maggots to cleanse the flesh from the bones, while
          preventing it being carried off by larger scavengers, such
          as dogs and children. After a sufficient period of time, you
          may retrieve the skull and boil it in a dilute bleach
          solution to sterilize it and wash away any remaining tissue.
 
          Skinning: After removing the head, wash the rest of the body
          down. Because there is no major market for human hides, pa
          rticular care in removing the skin in a single piece is not
          necessary, and makes the task much easier. The skin is in
          fact a large organ, and by flaying the carcass you not only
          expose the muscular configuration, but also get rid of the
          hair and the tiny distasteful glands which produce sweat and
          oil. A short-bladed knife should be used to avoid slicing
          into muscle and viscera. The skin is composed of two layers,
          an outer thinner one with a thicker tissue layer below it.
          When skinning, first score the sur face, cutting lightly to
          be sure of depth and direction. The diagram of the skinning
          pattern is an example of strip-style skinning, dividing the
          surface into portions easy to handle. Reflect the skin by
          lifting up and peeling back with one hand, while bri nging
          the knife in as flat to the skin as possible to cut away
          connective tissue. You need not bother skinning the hands
          and feet, these portions not being worth the effort unless
          you plan to pickle them or use them in soup. The skin can be
          disposed of, o r made into fried rinds. Boil the strips and
          peel away the outer layer, then cut into smaller pieces and
          deep-fat fry in boiling oil until puffy and crisp. Dust with
          garlic salt, paprika and cayenne pepper.
 
          Gutting: The next major step is compl ete evisceration of
          the carcass. To begin, make a cut from the solar plexus, the
          point between the breastbone and stomach, almost to the
          anus. Be very careful not to cut into the intestines, as
          this will contaminate the surrounding area with bacteria and
          possibly feces (if this does happen, cleanse thoroughly). A
          good way to avoid this is to use the knife inside the
          abdominal wall, blade facing toward you, and making ca
utious
          progress.
 
          Make a cut around the anus, or "bung", and tie it off with
          twine. This also prevents contamination, keeping the body
          from voiding any material left in the bowel. With a saw, cut
          through the pubic bone, or "aitch". The lower body is now
          completely open, and you can begin to pull the organ masses
          (large and small intestin es, kidneys, liver, stomach) out
          and cut them away from the back wall of the body.
 
          For the upper torso, first cut through the diaphragm around
          the inner surface of the carcass. This is the muscular
          membrane which divides the upper, or thoracic, and th e
          lower abdominal cavities. Remove the breastbone, cutting
          down to the point on each side where it connects to the
          ribs, and then sawing through and detaching it from the
          collar bone. Some prefer to cut straight through the middle,
          depending on the ideas you have for cuts in the final
          stages. The heart and lungs may be detached and the throat
          cut into to remove the larynx and trachea. Once all of the
          inner organs have been removed, trim away any blood vessels
          or remaining pieces of connective tissue from the interior
          of the carcass, and wash out thoroughly.
 
          Remove the Arms: Actual butchering of the carcass is now
          ready to begin. Cut into the armpit straight to the
          shoulder, and remove the arm bone, the humerus, from the
          collar bone and shoulder blade. Chop the hand off an inch or
          so above the wrist. Most of the meat here is between elbow
          and shoulder, as the muscle groups are larger here and due
          to the fact that there are two bones in the forearm. Another
          way of cutting this portion is to cut a way the deltoid
          muscle from the upper arm near the shoulder (but leaving it
          attached to the trunk) before removing the limb. This
          decreases the percentage of useable meat on the arm, but
          allows a larger shoulder strip when excising the shoulder
          blade. Pur ely a matter of personal preference. Cut into and
          break apart the joint of the elbow, and the two halves of
          each arm are now ready for carving servings from. Human
          flesh should always be properly cooked before eating.
 
          Halving the Carcass: The m ain body is now ready to be
          split. Some like to saw straight through the spine from
          buttocks to neck. This leaves the muscle fiber encasing the
          vertebrae on the end of the ribs. The meat here however is
          tightly wrapped about the bone, and we find it more suitable
          (if used at all) when boiled for soup. Thus, our preferred
          method is to completely remove the entire backbone by
          cutting and then sawing down either side from the tail
bone
          on through.
 
          Quartering the Carcass: The halves may now be taken down,
          unless your preparation table or butcher block is very
          short. This is inadequate, and you will have toquarter
          while hanging, slicing through the side at a point of your
          choosing between rib cage and pelvis. Now is also the time
          to begin thinking a bout how you would like to serve the
          flesh, as this will determine the style of cuts you are
          about to make. These will also be greatly affected by the
          muscular configuration (physical fitness) of your specimen.
          First, chop the feet off at a point about th ree inches up
          from the ankle. The bones are very thick where the leg
          connects to the foot. You will want to divide the side of
          meat into two further principal portions: the ribs and
          shoulder, and the half-pelvis and leg. In between is the
          "flank" or belly , which may be used for fillets or steaks,
          if thick enough, or even bacon strips if you wish to cut
          this thinly. Thin and wide strips of flesh may also be
          rolled, and cooked to serve as a roast. Trim away along the
          edge of the ribs, and then decide whethe r you will cut
          steaks from the flank into the thighs and rump, and carve
          accordingly.
 
          And that's basically it. An average freezer provides plenty
          of storage space, or you may even wish to build a simple
          old-fashioned smokehouse (just like an outhouse, with a
          stone firepit instead of a shitter). Offal and other waste
          trimmings can be disposed of in a number of ways, burial,
          animal feed, and puree and flush being just a few. Bones
          will dry and become brittle after being baked an oven, and
          can be pulverized.
