IT SEEMS THAT THERE WERE TWO BROTHERS BY THE NAME OF JONES. JOHN WAS MARRIED AND JOE WAS SINGLE, THE PROUD OWNER OF A DELAPIDATED ROW BOAT. IT SO HAPPENED THAT JOHN JONES' WIFE DIED THE SAME DAY THAT HIS BROT ER'S BOAT FILLED WITH WATER AND SANK. A FEW DAYS LATER A KINDLY OLD LADY MET JOE; AND MISTAKING HIM FOR JOHN, SAID, "OH! MR. JONES, I WAS SORRY TO HEAR OF YOUR GREAT LOSS. YOU MUST FEEL TERRIBLE." THEN JOE SPOKE UP SAYING, "WELL, I AM NOT A BIT SORRY. SHE WAS A ROTTEN OLD THING FROM THE START; HER BOTTOM WAS ALL CHEWED UP AND SHE SMELLED OF OLD DEAD FISH, AND SHE HAD A BAD CRACK AND A PRETTY BIG HOLE IN THE FRONT AND THAT HOLE KEPT GETTING BIGGER EVERY TIME I USED HER. IT GOT SO I COULD HANDLE HER ALL RIGHT, BUT NOT WHEN ANYONE ELSE USED HER. SHE LEAKED LIKE EVERYTHING. FOUR MEN FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN CAME DOWN LOOKING FOR A GOOD TIME AND ASKED IF I WOULD RENT HER TO THEM. WELL, I WARNED THEM THAT SHE WAS NO GOOD, BUT THEY SAID THEY WOULD TAKE A CRACK AT HER ANYWAY. THE RESULT WAS THAT THESE CRAZY FOOLS TRIED TO GET INTO HER AT ONE TIME, AND IT WAS TOO MUCH FOR HER AND SHE CRACKED RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE." AT THAT POINT THE OLD LADY FAINTED.